5 Things to Remember When Filing for Divorce
UPDATED: March 30, 2020
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Filing for a divorce doesn’t happen because you wake up one morning and decide you want to leave your spouse. It comes at a much slower pace! It involves long, strenuous thoughts and night after night of contemplations.
You want to be sure you are making the right decision. As soon as you go ahead and start involving lawyers, the process becomes critical.
You also need to know that there are so many things that follow before finalizing the divorce process. If you aren’t serious, you may end up having a difficult time adjusting to the new situation. That’s why as you go through the divorce turmoil, you need to remember these five things.
#1 – Start Seeing a Therapist
One of the most important things to remember while filing for divorce is to start seeing a therapist or counselor. It may sound cliché, but in the end, you will find it to be very fulfilling.
Some people brush it off, claiming that they don’t need fixing for them to go through a divorce. But as soon as the thoughts start piling and the process becomes unbearable, that’s the time you start wishing you had someone to talk to.
Unlike any other type of breakup, divorce disorients a considerable section of your life. It transforms your feeling and your status. It changes your whole environment, and at times you may feel like the world is against you.
You need to make sure you get yourself the right counselor to get you through all that. Doing so will give you a place to vent out the pressure.
#2 – Talk to Your Attorney First
Before you serve your spouse with divorce papers, you need to ask your attorney to highlight everything you need to do before filing for divorce. This involves everything–money, custody of your kids, and other essential things that may arise.
Doing this keeps you ahead of the game, and it may be the only thing that enables you to walk out successfully. An experienced lawyer may also come up with a strategy to help you out.
Take note of everything the lawyer tells you. Something is bound to come in handy at one point or another. You should also ask if there are other things to expect so that you can plan. Be sure to have a detailed list of the fees they charge, as well as any additional hidden charges.
#3 – Start Building your Credit Score
Most couples tend to share accounts, and that means once the divorce is over, you will need a personal account. Use this time to open a new bank account early and start building your credit score. It’s one of the most important things to do while divorcing your spouse.
Too much of a gap in time before opening your checking and savings account may bring along negative impacts. Remember, you can also start saving while the process is ongoing. Make sure you have sufficient financial support for yourself or kids.
Most people open a credit account as soon as they realize something is going wrong with their marriage. By the time they think of filing for divorce, their credit score is perfect. That means they can easily take a loan and establish themselves elsewhere as they wait for their alimony to materialize. It’s something that many people forget, and it ends up costing them.
#4 – Have a Backup Plan
Coming up with a plan B is another thing that most spouses fail to do. The truth of the matter is that you’re not guaranteed to win in court. Your spouse’s lawyer may easily outsmart your lawyer and end up getting the better deal. Losing may mean not getting what you wanted, so make a plan B to back up such a situation.
Try and think ahead of your spouse so that by the time the ruling comes, you’re still set. Plan B may be figuring out where you will stay in case the allocation of the house goes to your spouse. It may also mean knowing how you will cope in case you don’t get as much as you expected from the settlement. Your divorce lawyer should also come up with such a plan to counter the ruling.
#5 – Keep Your Children in Mind
Your kids will be the first people to suffer from your divorce. So it’s the duty of you and your spouse to ensure you prevent severe suffering. You need to know that your kids are not divorcing, and you should not put them in the middle of the war. You need to instead come up with a solution that favors them.
If your spouse is not abusive, don’t bar them from meeting with the kids. Even as you fight for custody, you need to figure out which parent will give them what they want. Don’t let the divorce and hatred of your spouse keep you from analyzing the situation of your kids.
Remembering the list of things detailed above is one of the best ways to ease the burden of divorce. The ideas will enable you to keep you and your kids safe. They will also enable you to have something to land on as soon as the divorce case is over.
Divorce can be a New Beginning
Divorce is never easy. But that doesn’t mean it has to ruin you. Start new relationships, and reignite old ones. Utilize your time with family, friends & loved ones instead until the divorce is finalized. Give time to yourself & think about staying close to home and taking care of yourself mentally & physically.
Divorce is never going to be an easy circumstance, but being prepared mentally can help the difficult procedure go more evenly for everyone involved. In the end, you control your future, not your spouse or anyone else.